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Stuck in the Middle With You.

Stuck in the Middle With You.
Well not exactly stuck in the middle with you but stuck in the middle with me. The current self stuck between the past self and the future self and having a bit of a rough time of it. There are no obvious outward signs of this unless lack of momentum can be detected, an object at rest. Everything appears the same as yesterday or the week before or even the year before. I will have to admit my middle is a bit more middler than in the past and there appear to be more bills than actual paychecks but I am reliably informed that’s a universal state of affairs. Its not an old fashioned mid life crisis as I think at my age I have probably passed the half way point did not get a fancy sports car or started following #1 sons fashion tastes  I did however rant and rave and stamp my feet and start this Bio Blog that I have been suspiciously absent from. I tell myself SEE I DONE STUFF! I had a life, I got where I was going even though I had no Idea where that was. Its here on the Prairies and its a holding pattern So Whats Next. Why This inertia why does a day seem to last for ever and years fly by. Well its the middle isn’t it there are few things that are any good in the middle. Well i’m assuming its the middle but its just as likely the start or the end its hard to say and i guess at the heart of things that’s the problem. Is my jar of Marmite big enough? Don’t worry I am not going to blather on about Marmite but if you want you can click on the photo and find out what I have to say on the subject. So how did I get stuck in the middle? Maybe I was stuck in the middle from an early age, maybe this is an early sign that I was always going to be searching for alternative ways of doing things. So Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right here I am. That clown the past me thought it would be a jolly wheeze to not bother getting a degree in something useful or coming up with some brilliant...

The Ghost of New Years Past

The Ghost of New Years Past
  So here we are New year 2016, Christmas is finished and I look backwards! Well that doesn’t sound right I think I don’t look too bad for an old duffer like our new dog Diego who joined us in March 2015 I in solidarity sport a set of almost magnificent whiskers. Any new year resolutions or recommendations for this year  nope the Grumpy Elf has had his editorial rights rescinded and its just me. So to follow the theme boldly set out here is Christmas present.   Here is the Tribe 2015 and yes #1 Son is 6’5″ and #1 Daughter is 5’9″ and Diego well he is shorter, I will have to admit this is the second attempt at a Family photo the first for some reason made me look like a right fat batard, there are rumors as to some sort of resolution that fixes that but apparently I can’t eat cheese, white bread, drink wine or eat curries. (So good Luck Enforcing that then.) Well 2015 was the year I started putting my name on things my Flickr and Instagram account so the Funky Nomad not so incognito and in that spirit I give you the Millennium Falcon (Sorry about that I actually mean the Millennium in the Falklands, because that’s where I was when 1999 rolled into 2000 and all the computers kept running.) With Star Wars coming round once again I thought I would have to get on that band wagon. As for music not listened to much or bought anything in the last 12 months Just classic stuff Ramones, Green Day; dookie and Getz/Byrd Jazz Samba. It also began to dawn on me how awesome the Rolling Stones are and while I was busy being  a rocker it turns out Mod stuff was pretty good as well I have to admit to Liking Paul Weller and I do have  two Specials albums. Which feels disingenuous in light of Lemmys passing. I saw the Bomber Tour and was at the No sleep till Hammersmith gigs and at one point had started embroidering the Hawkwind Spaceritual album cover on my denim jacket only got about one fifth of the way and I will have to admit to removing the Thin Lizzy ( Not sure what that was about.)   So found some negatives from personal...

Diego Adventure Dog

Diego Adventure Dog
This year there is a new member of our Tribe, a 2 and a 1/2 year old Yorkshire  Terrier called Diego. We haven’t had a dog before and my Daughter has been pleading with me for a very long time. So when a late afternoon e-mail from a work colleague popped up saying there was a free Yorkshire Terrier up for grabs my reply was in the milliseconds and Yay I was first in line and long story short a couple of days later we had a dog, I was sold at Yorkshire so I suppose its a good job he is not a Yorkshire Rottweiler or Hippo or anything else on the large side. I should have had no fear of standing or sitting on him as he pays special attention to that sort of thing and gives a good bark on most occasions however he does sneak up behind me in stealth mode when I am cooking  and is pretty used the me screaming W.T.F Diego. He now makes sure he is under the chair or kitchen table when he is sneaking about. Now I am not his actual official photographer that job I leave to  the Good Lady Wife who has an amazing amount of images of daily life recording all sorts of things, so much so that I think I am going to have to borrow a few for some articles to come. And its my own fault as I only unleash my camera when on a mission which is why my i phone 5c and Instagram has changed me reminded me there are always opportunities for outstanding images. So how was Diego going to get on camping in the Rockies? How far and how fast would his terrier legs go before someone had to carry him. Well the answer to that is a bloody long way and at a faster pace than I usually go. So he was re-christened  Diego Adventure Dog, he also masquerades as Sheriff Diego and his brave Palomino horse Winifred there is a whole song and everything to go with it, its the sort of thing that happens in our household.     Here we are at Horseshoe Lake, he has no fear of heights can jump from rocks cross streams and generally have a great time. He was most...

Bleaklow & The Rambling man

Bleaklow & The Rambling man
So the Rambling man returns,climbing his way back on to the interweb and this here Bio-Blog. The Funky Nomad is revealed as no other than…… Now hang on there a tic, maybe just because I have told the Old Man and his friends where to find my Ramblings is no reason to actually come clean. Well I hope not because I like being one of the many alternative me’s out there, where would we all be if along our journey we were not allowed to re-invent ourselves now and again. I had thought to mysteriously reinvent myself as the West Riding Tyke but I have already offered that to a friend should he ever become a radio presenter. Some of you may have spotted the overuse of the word Rambling, not just in this post but posts leading up to this and if you read other posts you may discover words foreshadowing posts to come and why not as it usually takes a year or so for all the pieces to come together. This one in particular has had a longer birth than most it has been probably up to 80 years in its making. Allow me to take you on a journey that ended up here at the bridge with ‘No Berries on the Tree’.     So without further ado I will turn you over to the antics of these four merry men, now I am not claiming that they have as much fun as Compo,Clegg, Foggy and Wally but I have my suspicions. From left to right we have Peter, Malcolm, My Old man and Robin. Like me but in an old school way they mark there passing through the world with a bound journal each year edited and prepared by Malcolm. So here is my Old Mans explanation of what they are doing at the foot of Jacobs ladder.   ‘NO BERRIES’      On August the 20th the gang of four the two Peters, Malcolm and Robin set off from Barber Booth to walk to Harvey’s Rowan Tree planted by his friends in 1995. Although the tree looked very healthy, mysteriously NO RED BERRIES! We couldn’t understand this as similar trees lower down the track were laden with fruit,we decided it was a case for Alan Titchmarsh. ( And so it should be, I...

Who cares? and what’s in it for me?...

Who cares? and what’s in it for me?
So I recently saw the question posed, Who Cares? And who cares in deed. I suppose no one cares so why should I. Lets come at this from another angle whats in it for me, what do I get from this infrequently visited Bio Blog and what on earth did I expect to happen. Who Blogs these days so quaint and old fashioned, with the voices whispering quieter and quieter, Blog after Blog being abandoned, raging click-bait and wide spread disquiet as bloggers in there dozens debate switching off their comment sections, Trolls and Flamers running riot it is a wonder anyone wants to put their delicate selves out there all raw and bloodied on the Interweb. Me Myself and I did it but Incognito lurking behind the anonymity of The Funky Nomad and purposely not telling people who would read my ramblings that I rambled away on my own custom site. Because quite frankly I am no one in particular, I have no S.E.O strategy, no advertising no way of monetizing my grand 9 followers, and possibly I have no business cluttering up the Interweb with my ramblings. I did however come across this awesome widget, there it is in my side bar pulling my Instagram pictures into my blog. Follow that too if you like. Now I know I have been a bit invisible the last couple of months and its pretty simple writing actually writing in any spare minute to struggle towards a first draft on a Novel a first novel no less is bloody tiring a long slog and I just don’t have words spare right now ( Other than the few I am using up here, and these are not the type suitable for my Fantasy Novel anyway.) So Gibbous Tyke as mentioned in other posts  is the hero who has now made his way through  37.6% of the story he is travelling through, we sit at just north of 31,000 word and the odd one or two are pretty good if I do say so myself. But we are in the doldrums the snarly do not really want to type this middle bit but slowly we climb the hump and pretty soon will be headed down hill in the wicked race to the end. And low and behold there are both boys and...

So Good in Sogod. S Leyte.

So Good in Sogod. S Leyte.
So November 2014 all bundled up winter hat and all and once again loving husband I am let the good lady head home to the Philippines to visit her father and family and high school friends,and was I jealous, well a bit. Now I am not complaining but this is the lady who dragged me here to Alberta – 40c wind chill. When I fell in love with her I was fairly certain (and yes I did meet her in Alberta so that should have been a clue) I would be opening a beach B-B-Q restaurant  and fishing and sitting in the sun. I guess those pesky kids have something to do with it  but I plan on getting back out there. Hopefully not too long from now I will be retired from the cold Alberta winter and be on my veranda looking out to sea in my beach cottage with the wife at my side and Tanduay rum in my hand. I think Bikinis will have something to do with it too my good lady gets more gorgeous and glamorous every year.     That is not the beach outside my beach front lot but you get the Idea. I did crack the whip and the good lady had tasks to do  so I can build my cottage, and we are ready I just need some more money. For those of you that have heard me go on about this here is proof that things are moving to pace.                   And that is that rough plans to be turned into blue prints and I will spend my 20th wedding adversary building my retirement cottage should I ever get to retire.  ...

Recomendations From the Grumpy Elf

Recomendations From the Grumpy Elf
Well you would be a bit grumpy if someone had shoved a bell up your nose. So how did 2014 go and what’s in store for the New Year?  I am pleased to report a pretty stellar year all round many highs a few lows (Car repairs and the like just before Christmas). Many things on the Rise and a few things met  their Demise. So the plan for 2015, well there is no plan because I am still working on the list of 40 or so items from 2012 (Which I may include in a blog just to remind people how silly lists can be, or should I say how silly my lists can be). But if you were to push me I will give you this image in reply and I think that’s the plan.     Gibbous Tyke ‘The Dark Antiquarian” is getting written first four chapters are with my secret beta readers ( Kim and Hill, sorry I guess not so secret then) we are full throttle into chapters 5 to 9 and just crashed trough 25,000 words so just under a third of the way so FINISHED by the end of 2015. That is the one concrete thing I set my mind to. As for distractions no doubt. So what was I listening to? Well all sorts, Satan’s helper (sorry Santas helper)  #1 Son gave me three albums currently on the radio here in CANADA:-  Hozier / Hozier,  Milky Chance/ Sadnecessary  &  July Talk / July Talk (Santa actually picked and wrapped them put them under the tree etc on the understanding it was #1 son who was giving Dad a present not Dad.) Also three other bands have been on heavy rotation here also big air play in Canada but may not have trended high in the UK. Finally three albums from “1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.” The Grumpy Elf recommend them all. If I was to pick just one July Talk / July Talk is awesome well they are all worth the time but that ones a little bit more awsommeeemmn.  The Kongos  album suffers a bit from intermittent production but has what sounds like a washboard in there somewhere and I am all for that. And the music is great but they all have lyrics that apeal to...

Footprint

Footprint
Footprints left in the snow or on the beach or on your soul, record of your journey through the times of your life and the times of those who carried you or you carried in return. They are there even if you don’t want to believe me. Not just talking about your electronic footprint your transactions or social media postings but your physical and metaphysical footprints. Yes I know this all smacks of a theme and yes I have read ‘And Did Those Feet’ but what did you expect a retrospective to be, and knowing the importance of footprints to my family history you should not be surprised. (If you have no idea what I am talking about  stick around as I ramble my way through some what ifs and probably stride through some so whats.) I also have a couple of Ideas why Generation X is a little bit angry and pissed off and probably a little inwardly focused. You can forget all about Gen Y,  being selfish I would like to consider Generation Z (That’s my kids). They are where it’s at. Far more collaborative and civic minded than any generation since the 2 wars, don’t believe all you are told they will lead us into the great future they will be hero’s the like of which we have not seen for generations, I can see it in my children. They have been promised nothing and will achieve everything they appear not to carry our burdens and will make lighter footprints than I. They will lead each other into future and shame our leaders and they will do it because it is right and not for self aggrandizement and power and Ego. How can I be so sure I hear you ask? I have faith an old fashioned belief that does not need proving to me, because its time and because I would dearly like it to be. However lets get on with it, the Footprint I am talking about is Footprint Tools and possibly Footprint Wrenches  in particular, an all purpose wrench, being used extensively in plumbing and general pipe work applications. The world famous Footprint wrench was invented by Footprint’s founder Thomas R Ellin in 1875 and since then more than 15 million have been sold across the world.       And what does...

PutPut Pictures, rides again.

PutPut Pictures, rides again.
Well after posting blogs that could be interpreted a suicide notes I though I better put my dear readers at their ease, Just a change just a re -focusing and that’s a good word. Even my written work is supposed to be visual. But back to the start where did it all begin and I must admit to Photography. Love it, loved it, hated it, despaired of it ,divorced it, died from it, raised from the ashes and railed into the night for the hate of it. Re-invent myself for the love of it and discovered it had not gone anywhere and cared not for my antics. And I will give no credit at all to Tim Starchuck.   But I do love the Solitude and Minimalism, as if someone walked out the room as if there were lonely ghosts . If you were to wander into the frame and pause and for a moment be isolated alone, got me I like it. But its not what I claim to do, well not what I am comfortable doing and yes photographed everything for money being a paid Professional Photographer for a time, and my passion LangScape or should I say Landscapes for thirty years banging them out and I can see my footprint .   So we have Derbyshire, Moray -Scotland the Falkland- South Atlantic, Elk Island, AB. Jasper AB and Robin Hood’s bay. And how do they manage to be all together and mounted well I can thank the good lady wife for buying the camera , # 1 Daughter for negotiating the on line printing and my good sense in outputting them on KODAK glossy paper at 8″ x 10″ and the song remains the same. Can’t guarantee the printer new what he was doing but a bit of judicious pre-proces prep on my end and voila. Time stood still. Of course up until now I did my own printing (Its what I do Yall) but now some  dude at the photo lab not even doing his own sensometric testing but hooked up the the interweb, For all that turned out nice again.     PutPut Pictures that’s the enterprise where I shoe horn images in to mounts and frames. All sorts of printed ephemera from the last 150 years. Photography vintage and original (My stuff), advertising,...

Rise and Dear Demise

Rise and Dear Demise
So that’s that had enough of this already.                 You may be wondering what it looked like all these years? What did I see? What music were we listening to and what were the big events? What was it like from the inside? Maybe even what did you look like? What ideas were on the Rise and which of my various plans met their Dear Demise along the way. So lets answer a few question, I possibly don’t know what you looked like! But that’s what I looked like, look like. Here is the answer to the second question, I saw Penguins. Listening to well not exactly you get my drift though. And this is what its like from the inside. And this is what ended up happening to all those great ideas they reside on this small piece of shiny cardboard in a box in a draw about as useful as any other idea I had along the way. And there we have it all time views  610 views top page ‘The Funky Nomad’, Top Posts ‘And did those Feet’ and well I had hoped ‘Shades of a Blue Orphanage’ would be up there but not too shabby which leads us to the bottom of the table which I can tell you has most of the posts of the last few months sitting there with may be 4 views of which I probably accidentally viewed twice myself, so weeks and weeks of flat histograms in the stats tool, effort to reward disproportionate. And by now all the way down here I am pretty sure no one is still reading. ( My 8 Subscribers stay subscribbed . Thank You) So no I have not had enough of Me of course not I still profess myself to be very interesting and wiseish Dude, just think it might be time to change directions a bit change the focus. Stuff has happened, stuff happens and stuff is a happening. We are happily dropping photo Albums into Flickr see Home Page we have an instagram account and I have learnt to do them Hash Tags and lo and behold some likes and so far I have only posted 3 photos and quite frankly I am very excited and and and I can steer folks this way...

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