Drinking Flying Squirrels!

Sitting in the Laundromat drinking Flying Squirrels would normally indicate the summer is here and I am perched in the Rocky Mountains camping, walking and frantically camering. As it happens I am not drinking Flying Squirrels and am there fore not in the Rockies. Unfortunately that non- statement, statement is the only way I can explain the last few months or more exactly, December 28th 2015 to December 28th 2016. That’s the dates between which I wrote nothing, not a word in my novel and only two post on this here Bio Blog. The fact that I can now happily contemplate Flying Squirrels is in fact a good sign. That I am blogging away with little hope of being heard is strangely calming. Oh I still occasionally give my blog address to some one on the odd occasion I peer out from the silence. You see I turned off the voices in my head. No, No, don’t picnic sorry panic; not those sort of voices. The Narrator Voice remember the one I credit with all the ramblings on this blog and the world building in the novel and the life  building in life. You know that day to day stuff that stretches out to make a life time. Together with  the general background noise of existence  and  the anxiety of reality makes for a deafening non-functioning roar. A garbled sense of conversations from the bottom of the swimming pool.  So click, you switch it all off, Yesterday & Tomorrow ™ and you do Today only Today. When the background sounds of interference and static finally ebb as they undoubtedly will if you take the proper steps, the world lazily blooms back into focus and voila!  There is room to contemplate the what if once more, the Narrator wakes up refreshed and timidly service is resumed. The trapped self once again races out into the world and reconnects the pathways and breaths a sigh of contentment.   While I was gone lots of wonderful things have happened the good Lady wife turned into a fantastic photographer Instagramer and image editor. In fact I have stolen a lot of the imagery from here photo files. see we have 500 gb each on a hard drive for our imagery. Mine fills slowly and hers at a pace, she is miraculously recording all our...

In Out In Out Shake it all about.

So am I realy going to bang on about the mysteries of the Oaky Cokee? Possibly but not realy, Is it a mysterious reference to BREXIT ? Possibly, possibly not. Is it a conversation about closets,water and otherwise; could be all of these things and none of these things. It could be about taking the Red pill or the Blue pill. Yes that’s it lets talk about the Red pill and the Blue pill (If for some unknown reason you have never seen The Matrix you might need to go watch it and then come back, I will be waiting). Took the red pills once and I must admit they work a treat, they would have worked better if the person they had been prescribed to had actually took them but you can’t help some people. As for the Blue pill, well what the hell am I going to do with a four hour erection? I mean I have approximately 32 minuets and 20 seconds of innovative caring and well practiced moves that I have never had any complaints about. I am not convinced anything I would come up with after that would be entirely sensible or welcome. I do have  a little voice at the back of my head who wants to shout Geronimo and leap of the top of the wardrobe but I have a feeling that may end in disaster or at least a trip to the hospital. So this business about being in or out of the Closet. Makes perfect sense to me obviously in the closet you have the possibility of Narnia or maybe Monsters but its probably pretty safe if you have marauding house jackers or some such. Out of the closet seems perfectly fine too. I grew up with a number of friends who turned out to be no longer in the closet and I can only say that seems like a perfectly sensible solution to the inability to make head nor tails of girls, women, mothers and the female gender of any type. In fact I have it on good authority that I was considered to be very likely to be in the closet one minuet and out the next and that’s perfectly OK by me. Back then and to be honest even today everything seems to be a mystery and...

Stuck in the Middle With You.

Well not exactly stuck in the middle with you but stuck in the middle with me. The current self stuck between the past self and the future self and having a bit of a rough time of it. There are no obvious outward signs of this unless lack of momentum can be detected, an object at rest. Everything appears the same as yesterday or the week before or even the year before. I will have to admit my middle is a bit more middler than in the past and there appear to be more bills than actual paychecks but I am reliably informed that’s a universal state of affairs. Its not an old fashioned mid life crisis as I think at my age I have probably passed the half way point did not get a fancy sports car or started following #1 sons fashion tastes  I did however rant and rave and stamp my feet and start this Bio Blog that I have been suspiciously absent from. I tell myself SEE I DONE STUFF! I had a life, I got where I was going even though I had no Idea where that was. Its here on the Prairies and its a holding pattern So Whats Next. Why This inertia why does a day seem to last for ever and years fly by. Well its the middle isn’t it there are few things that are any good in the middle. Well i’m assuming its the middle but its just as likely the start or the end its hard to say and i guess at the heart of things that’s the problem. Is my jar of Marmite big enough? Don’t worry I am not going to blather on about Marmite but if you want you can click on the photo and find out what I have to say on the subject. So how did I get stuck in the middle? Maybe I was stuck in the middle from an early age, maybe this is an early sign that I was always going to be searching for alternative ways of doing things. So Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right here I am. That clown the past me thought it would be a jolly wheeze to not bother getting a degree in something useful or coming up with some brilliant...

The Ghost of New Years Past

  So here we are New year 2016, Christmas is finished and I look backwards! Well that doesn’t sound right I think I don’t look too bad for an old duffer like our new dog Diego who joined us in March 2015 I in solidarity sport a set of almost magnificent whiskers. Any new year resolutions or recommendations for this year  nope the Grumpy Elf has had his editorial rights rescinded and its just me. So to follow the theme boldly set out here is Christmas present.   Here is the Tribe 2015 and yes #1 Son is 6’5″ and #1 Daughter is 5’9″ and Diego well he is shorter, I will have to admit this is the second attempt at a Family photo the first for some reason made me look like a right fat batard, there are rumors as to some sort of resolution that fixes that but apparently I can’t eat cheese, white bread, drink wine or eat curries. (So good Luck Enforcing that then.) Well 2015 was the year I started putting my name on things my Flickr and Instagram account so the Funky Nomad not so incognito and in that spirit I give you the Millennium Falcon (Sorry about that I actually mean the Millennium in the Falklands, because that’s where I was when 1999 rolled into 2000 and all the computers kept running.) With Star Wars coming round once again I thought I would have to get on that band wagon. As for music not listened to much or bought anything in the last 12 months Just classic stuff Ramones, Green Day; dookie and Getz/Byrd Jazz Samba. It also began to dawn on me how awesome the Rolling Stones are and while I was busy being  a rocker it turns out Mod stuff was pretty good as well I have to admit to Liking Paul Weller and I do have  two Specials albums. Which feels disingenuous in light of Lemmys passing. I saw the Bomber Tour and was at the No sleep till Hammersmith gigs and at one point had started embroidering the Hawkwind Spaceritual album cover on my denim jacket only got about one fifth of the way and I will have to admit to removing the Thin Lizzy ( Not sure what that was about.)   So found some negatives from personal...

Diego Adventure Dog

This year there is a new member of our Tribe, a 2 and a 1/2 year old Yorkshire  Terrier called Diego. We haven’t had a dog before and my Daughter has been pleading with me for a very long time. So when a late afternoon e-mail from a work colleague popped up saying there was a free Yorkshire Terrier up for grabs my reply was in the milliseconds and Yay I was first in line and long story short a couple of days later we had a dog, I was sold at Yorkshire so I suppose its a good job he is not a Yorkshire Rottweiler or Hippo or anything else on the large side. I should have had no fear of standing or sitting on him as he pays special attention to that sort of thing and gives a good bark on most occasions however he does sneak up behind me in stealth mode when I am cooking  and is pretty used the me screaming W.T.F Diego. He now makes sure he is under the chair or kitchen table when he is sneaking about. Now I am not his actual official photographer that job I leave to  the Good Lady Wife who has an amazing amount of images of daily life recording all sorts of things, so much so that I think I am going to have to borrow a few for some articles to come. And its my own fault as I only unleash my camera when on a mission which is why my i phone 5c and Instagram has changed me reminded me there are always opportunities for outstanding images. So how was Diego going to get on camping in the Rockies? How far and how fast would his terrier legs go before someone had to carry him. Well the answer to that is a bloody long way and at a faster pace than I usually go. So he was re-christened  Diego Adventure Dog, he also masquerades as Sheriff Diego and his brave Palomino horse Winifred there is a whole song and everything to go with it, its the sort of thing that happens in our household.     Here we are at Horseshoe Lake, he has no fear of heights can jump from rocks cross streams and generally have a great time. He was most...

Bleaklow & The Rambling man

So the Rambling man returns,climbing his way back on to the interweb and this here Bio-Blog. The Funky Nomad is revealed as no other than…… Now hang on there a tic, maybe just because I have told the Old Man and his friends where to find my Ramblings is no reason to actually come clean. Well I hope not because I like being one of the many alternative me’s out there, where would we all be if along our journey we were not allowed to re-invent ourselves now and again. I had thought to mysteriously reinvent myself as the West Riding Tyke but I have already offered that to a friend should he ever become a radio presenter. Some of you may have spotted the overuse of the word Rambling, not just in this post but posts leading up to this and if you read other posts you may discover words foreshadowing posts to come and why not as it usually takes a year or so for all the pieces to come together. This one in particular has had a longer birth than most it has been probably up to 80 years in its making. Allow me to take you on a journey that ended up here at the bridge with ‘No Berries on the Tree’.     So without further ado I will turn you over to the antics of these four merry men, now I am not claiming that they have as much fun as Compo,Clegg, Foggy and Wally but I have my suspicions. From left to right we have Peter, Malcolm, My Old man and Robin. Like me but in an old school way they mark there passing through the world with a bound journal each year edited and prepared by Malcolm. So here is my Old Mans explanation of what they are doing at the foot of Jacobs ladder.   ‘NO BERRIES’      On August the 20th the gang of four the two Peters, Malcolm and Robin set off from Barber Booth to walk to Harvey’s Rowan Tree planted by his friends in 1995. Although the tree looked very healthy, mysteriously NO RED BERRIES! We couldn’t understand this as similar trees lower down the track were laden with fruit,we decided it was a case for Alan Titchmarsh. ( And so it should be, I...

Who cares? and what’s in it for me?...

So I recently saw the question posed, Who Cares? And who cares in deed. I suppose no one cares so why should I. Lets come at this from another angle whats in it for me, what do I get from this infrequently visited Bio Blog and what on earth did I expect to happen. Who Blogs these days so quaint and old fashioned, with the voices whispering quieter and quieter, Blog after Blog being abandoned, raging click-bait and wide spread disquiet as bloggers in there dozens debate switching off their comment sections, Trolls and Flamers running riot it is a wonder anyone wants to put their delicate selves out there all raw and bloodied on the Interweb. Me Myself and I did it but Incognito lurking behind the anonymity of The Funky Nomad and purposely not telling people who would read my ramblings that I rambled away on my own custom site. Because quite frankly I am no one in particular, I have no S.E.O strategy, no advertising no way of monetizing my grand 9 followers, and possibly I have no business cluttering up the Interweb with my ramblings. I did however come across this awesome widget, there it is in my side bar pulling my Instagram pictures into my blog. Follow that too if you like. Now I know I have been a bit invisible the last couple of months and its pretty simple writing actually writing in any spare minute to struggle towards a first draft on a Novel a first novel no less is bloody tiring a long slog and I just don’t have words spare right now ( Other than the few I am using up here, and these are not the type suitable for my Fantasy Novel anyway.) So Gibbous Tyke as mentioned in other posts  is the hero who has now made his way through  37.6% of the story he is travelling through, we sit at just north of 31,000 word and the odd one or two are pretty good if I do say so myself. But we are in the doldrums the snarly do not really want to type this middle bit but slowly we climb the hump and pretty soon will be headed down hill in the wicked race to the end. And low and behold there are both boys and...

So Good in Sogod. S Leyte.

So November 2014 all bundled up winter hat and all and once again loving husband I am let the good lady head home to the Philippines to visit her father and family and high school friends,and was I jealous, well a bit. Now I am not complaining but this is the lady who dragged me here to Alberta – 40c wind chill. When I fell in love with her I was fairly certain (and yes I did meet her in Alberta so that should have been a clue) I would be opening a beach B-B-Q restaurant  and fishing and sitting in the sun. I guess those pesky kids have something to do with it  but I plan on getting back out there. Hopefully not too long from now I will be retired from the cold Alberta winter and be on my veranda looking out to sea in my beach cottage with the wife at my side and Tanduay rum in my hand. I think Bikinis will have something to do with it too my good lady gets more gorgeous and glamorous every year.     That is not the beach outside my beach front lot but you get the Idea. I did crack the whip and the good lady had tasks to do  so I can build my cottage, and we are ready I just need some more money. For those of you that have heard me go on about this here is proof that things are moving to pace.                   And that is that rough plans to be turned into blue prints and I will spend my 20th wedding adversary building my retirement cottage should I ever get to retire.  ...

Recomendations From the Grumpy Elf

Well you would be a bit grumpy if someone had shoved a bell up your nose. So how did 2014 go and what’s in store for the New Year?  I am pleased to report a pretty stellar year all round many highs a few lows (Car repairs and the like just before Christmas). Many things on the Rise and a few things met  their Demise. So the plan for 2015, well there is no plan because I am still working on the list of 40 or so items from 2012 (Which I may include in a blog just to remind people how silly lists can be, or should I say how silly my lists can be). But if you were to push me I will give you this image in reply and I think that’s the plan.     Gibbous Tyke ‘The Dark Antiquarian” is getting written first four chapters are with my secret beta readers ( Kim and Hill, sorry I guess not so secret then) we are full throttle into chapters 5 to 9 and just crashed trough 25,000 words so just under a third of the way so FINISHED by the end of 2015. That is the one concrete thing I set my mind to. As for distractions no doubt. So what was I listening to? Well all sorts, Satan’s helper (sorry Santas helper)  #1 Son gave me three albums currently on the radio here in CANADA:-  Hozier / Hozier,  Milky Chance/ Sadnecessary  &  July Talk / July Talk (Santa actually picked and wrapped them put them under the tree etc on the understanding it was #1 son who was giving Dad a present not Dad.) Also three other bands have been on heavy rotation here also big air play in Canada but may not have trended high in the UK. Finally three albums from “1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.” The Grumpy Elf recommend them all. If I was to pick just one July Talk / July Talk is awesome well they are all worth the time but that ones a little bit more awsommeeemmn.  The Kongos  album suffers a bit from intermittent production but has what sounds like a washboard in there somewhere and I am all for that. And the music is great but they all have lyrics that apeal to...

Footprint

Footprints left in the snow or on the beach or on your soul, record of your journey through the times of your life and the times of those who carried you or you carried in return. They are there even if you don’t want to believe me. Not just talking about your electronic footprint your transactions or social media postings but your physical and metaphysical footprints. Yes I know this all smacks of a theme and yes I have read ‘And Did Those Feet’ but what did you expect a retrospective to be, and knowing the importance of footprints to my family history you should not be surprised. (If you have no idea what I am talking about  stick around as I ramble my way through some what ifs and probably stride through some so whats.) I also have a couple of Ideas why Generation X is a little bit angry and pissed off and probably a little inwardly focused. You can forget all about Gen Y,  being selfish I would like to consider Generation Z (That’s my kids). They are where it’s at. Far more collaborative and civic minded than any generation since the 2 wars, don’t believe all you are told they will lead us into the great future they will be hero’s the like of which we have not seen for generations, I can see it in my children. They have been promised nothing and will achieve everything they appear not to carry our burdens and will make lighter footprints than I. They will lead each other into future and shame our leaders and they will do it because it is right and not for self aggrandizement and power and Ego. How can I be so sure I hear you ask? I have faith an old fashioned belief that does not need proving to me, because its time and because I would dearly like it to be. However lets get on with it, the Footprint I am talking about is Footprint Tools and possibly Footprint Wrenches  in particular, an all purpose wrench, being used extensively in plumbing and general pipe work applications. The world famous Footprint wrench was invented by Footprint’s founder Thomas R Ellin in 1875 and since then more than 15 million have been sold across the world.       And what does...