Ho Ho No NaNoWriMo (part 2)

If it was easy there would be no cacophony…… So when all the prevaricating and research and original thinking has been applied and the wailing and gnashing of teeth and venting of spleens has been allowed to die what path comes next. Well it turns out its pretty simple, if you want to be a writer, write. I know it’s not very helpful, of all the tasks I have undertaken it requires the hardest of things; drive from the inside. I have looked for help, for clarity what are the fundamentals that allow you to put pen to paper and write and have found some completely awesome blogs and on line help. I have followed a writer from start to finish for a fist book in the Steampunk . Thanks Literary Giant. Some very awesome no nonsense Fantasy advice from terribleminds. So here I sit typing a Fantasy novel of all things, 17 years of frothing at the mouth from pen and paper to Wordperfect to Word and on to Pages. So many first 3 chapters of really great ideas,(Probably) and thanks Chuck for brutal honesty about the writing game and Profanity Generators of truly awesome expanse I can tell you all to ****—**!!! off you dirigible **** tickling cavity marmots. So what does this fantasy world look like where every theme is a cliche and every middle aged white writers fantasy is derided for youth, ethnicity, gender, geographic relevance and RPG hate, magic systems and other  limitations. I believe you write for yourself first, hopefully you have belief enough that you have an audience and hopefully you don’t start by re-writing someone else’s Fantasy Trilogy. Not that I know anything but its a story whatever genre ( Hate that word) so it probably would not be too hard to figure out stories are character driven. So I started there, will anyone care about him. I hope so, hopefully enough to follow his journey. Gibbous Tyke, now has the responsibly to travel through the world entertaining the reader and hopefully having enough guts to stay alive to the end of a book. I am no different to everyone else who has read fantasy trilogies for ever and ever amen. Should he make it there will be an unending assault on the reader. A Trilogy in four parts no less...

Ho Ho No NaNoWriMo (part 1)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all. So what does a photo of Me and the Good Lady have to do with NaNoWriMo? Absolutely nothing, unless of course you understand we are all busy doing something else. Now this is not a literary site, my small week of subscribers are made up of friends and family who whether they wanted to or not I have persuaded to subscribe. So other than my good friends Hill and Kim you may have no idea what NaNoWriMo is and why I should even be mentioning it at all. As it happens I only came across it thanks to The Daily Post sending helpful suggestions to us aspiring writer/blogger types. ( Thank you and what the hell did you do that for?) So it goes like this, register with NaNoWriMo and on the 1st Nov you have 30 days to write 50,000 words. Sounds like a pretty good idea, daunting undoubtedly, exciting yes definitely,energizing and harmless? You would think so but you would be wrong. I actually thought well I have been trying to write a book who hasn’t I have three whole chapters, 50,000 words would certainly help. This is where I started to run into problems, not one to go off completely half cocked I decided to do a bit of research, the normal things are there rules to this? What experiences have others had and was there a bit of encouragement out there for so challenging a task. Well Yes and No. Did I register well no, should I have done? No I don’t think so. Will I next year who knows. I think it has a lot to do with where you are at the time. If you like the idea I would recommend doing no research at all and give it a go. I would certainly remember it has little to do with writing that Brilliant, Completed, Shiny automatically publishable Novel you have in your head. What it will do is something I have been unable to do,  generate up to 50,000 words you can use (Probably). Or 50,000 words you were glad you did not use in your novel. If you did want to do research I would try this from terribleminds.  ’25 Things You Should Know About NaNoWriMo’ So what have I...

My Mate Marmite.

Tired and Jet Lagged from my homecoming I am once again back in all that is magnificent Canada. A place whose breathtaking beauty and extraordinarily wide expanses welcomes you and lets you know anything is possible for the adventurous spirit, if you are truly ready to give instead of take a reminder  that true greatness is still to come. This is the last frontier; possibly “The final front ear” (for me anyway, I don’t suppose anyone is going to give me a space ship anytime soon.) So what’s with the Marmite, well I have been thinking how to express something that I want to be understood clearly. ( So is a dark brown opaque gunk the right thing I here you ask ? Absolutely and I will tell you why.) Whilst everyone gets comfortable and ready for the story its probably a good time to mention that for some reason I can’t get my head round not everyone likes Marmite! ( and my Canadian friends may not have any idea what I am talking about, Aussies will be familiar with Vegemite. ( So will a few others thanks to “Men art work” and if you read Terry Pratchett’s “The Last Continent” there is sort of a recipe in there to give you some idea. ) Marmite is applicable because I am half expecting that sort of polarized reaction to this particular post. To Paul and anyone else who I have raised the question of living with density as a concept I take Marmite to be the quintessential denseness. ( yes I know some metals, bits of space and a fair few people also show a great amount of density, myself  included but as a metaphor I think this will nail it on the head, oh and I am also going to use Breakfast and possibly Toast as a metaphors as well, just so you know ( But you will have to work out those for your selves.) So every morning you leap? ( Please change for you appropriate morning speed) out of bed rush to the kitchen to start your Breakfast put on some Toast, open the kitchen cupboard and frantically look for your jar of Marmite. Where is it? I can’t see it, what if its been stolen or someone else has eaten it what am I going...

And did those feet in ancient times….....

So did those feet? No doubt and mine have just made their way from Woodseats to Totley, not an inconsiderable feet. So what’s it all about “Life the Universe and everything?” To be totally honest the more I look at it the more worried I become that there is no purpose to it at all only the one you make for your self. So what makes for such a topic on a late summer afternoon Moonshine in hand (Moonshine is a beer by the way brewed by my local Abbeydale Brewery here in Sheffield.) Well I have just been up to the remembrance garden and sat talking to my Granparents memorial plac’s and had a long conversation accounting for myself. More of a thank you really as I talk to them all the time in my head but it seems more official to be where their ashes are laid to rest. Not a miserable task for me,friends relations dear departed are,like just stepped out of the room they may or may not be coming back but that does not deter me from talking to them anyway. I live on faith that they will be there when I need them and have not been let down so far; am I cavalier and thoughtless in my friendships it may seem that way but it never crosses my mind that any of those that are close to me will take affront, friendships rise and occasionally meet their demise but not really.Everything can be forgiven on your journey through life ( Now obviously there are a few grand things that pose a difficulty and I am sure those don’t need mentioning here, but I would prefer it if you didn’t rodger the wife over the back of my Ikea futon, not unless you were looking for a good slapping.) So what did my esteemed Grandfathers tell me? Nothing new I received all the venerable advice long before they passed. What I was formulating on my treck over here was something a bit more fundamental. “If a tree falls in a forest, even a very impressive old revered tree, if there is no one to bear witness did it exist at all.” That is the dilemma are we all only legends in our life times’ who will bare whiteness to our passing? Few will...

So who needs GPS…

No we did not get lost and no we don’t have a G.P.S.  I borrowed one once and it told me my house/road did not exist and I was turning into a field which was a bit bizarre as my Town House was built in 1973. I tried at work to order something on line and it was to be delivered by UPS apparently  My place of work does not exist either on the G.P.S and it could not be delivered. Now I know I function in an alternate version of reality but my place of work  does exist, if UPS had a local driver I am sure he could have got the package here, as it is I was so frustrated I cancelled my order. As G.P.S is a military platform I hope it’s a lot better at delivering missiles than it is at mail. So what’s this all about? Those of you who have read my blog before will realize this miserable looking figure is #1 Son. I am sad to announce we have completed our first Tribe adventure without #1 Sons presence, and he was missed but much as we don’t like to think of it our children are on a journey too and at some point,  well I am not going to blather on here may be in the next blog. So “what we have here is a failure to communicate,” not true I just wanted to use that line, talking of lines I just can’t resist what I am about to do next. One of the few Blogs I follow is ” Jay Kristoff- Literary Giant ” It’s a long story that I will not hesitate to tell of in many posts to come. I have to confess to lurking on his pages and following his blog since Nov 2012 never quite mustering up the courage to post a comment or two even though I am in awe. I just have to repeat this one line and dam the consequences ( Now I don’t want anyone to think this is a true reflection of his content but it was the final piece of evidence as to his greatness ( In my eyes anyway) I can feel the tension building…. and now for a disappointment I have just spent the last few days combing through...

Before this,there was that.

So before I can get away into the Rockies for our second camping expedition there was one last hurdle. A 2 day course and an exam courtesy of my new job and just to put the pressure on one I can’t afford to fail. So off I set  to a conference center out near the Airport to be tutored in the vagaries of ISO 9001:2008 Internal Audit. Anyone who knows me understands just how much I hate exams, it’s not that I do poorly its just I hate being tested. That extra pressure just totally messes me up. I have been known to get out of a driving test after only 1 Minute and 100 yards from the test center flatly  refusing to carry on. What the hell sort of  stupid question is which way do you turn your wheels on a hill when facing up or down when parking . I am in the prairies not a hill in sight, you would think there were other things to worry about. I can drive, I have for 30 years and back home I have an HGV license and have driven all over the world. On both sides of the road whether I am supposed to or not I can even go the wrong way around roundabouts, no worry….. anyway I got back in the car and completed my test and passed. ( And you know what? Between the 2 years it took me to get the courage to take lessons and the test the Province changed its mind. I could have just swapped my UK driving license for a full Alberta license no questions asked!!!!) So dramatic scene is set and I take the course the exam and pass and now have a shiny new certificate on my wall. Nothing to worry about at all. However it does make me worry a bit about what else is lurking within my new job, I am not the worlds best negotiator. I have been known to sell myself a used car and on one occasion insisted on offering more for a Gibson EB3 than the guy selling it wanted. If you want me to do something tell me what it is and I will get on with finding a way of getting it achieved no matter how bizarre or unheard of...